A Post-Evangelical Journey of Faith, Doubt, and Shalom

by John Ellis

Almost exactly four years ago, I shuttered my previous blog A Day in His Court. Over the upcoming weeks and months, I’m planning on writing more about what led me to transition away from my previous blog and start Practically Known Theology. For now, I simply want to note that by the fall of 2019 A Day in His Court had run its course; my life – and my family’s life – had entered a painful transition period. I felt that a new blog was needed to not only better serve my changing perspective and voice, but also provide me a space to articulate what I was feeling and learning. And so, a few weeks after hitting delete on A Day in His Court, I hit publish on this current blog.

Shortly after, on December 2, 2019, I wrote these words in an article titled “Confessions of a Writer”: “[Practically Known Theology] isn’t my first blog. It isn’t even my second blog, and knowing myself as well as I do, it most likely will not be my last.”  

Well, dear readers, I’ve come to the realization that Practically Known Theology has crossed its expiration date.

During my very first acting class in college, I was taught the importance of identifying your audience while doing the necessary preliminary work of play, scene, and character analysis. To whom is Hamlet speaking is of the utmost importance to know, for example. At the end of The Glass Menagerie, to whom is Tom speaking in his final monologue? His mom? His sister? His absent father? Himself? Or the audience proper? Does his audience change during the monologue? Answering the question of who the audience is helps unlock the character’s objectives in the beats, large and small. The reason I believe this blog has completed its usefulness, including for myself, is because my audience has changed.

A few months ago, I wrote “Why I Write About/To White Evangelicals.” In it, I explained that I am a white evangelical and so I write about and to my community. In the article, I posed the question, “why have I not left white evangelicalism?” I answered that I didn’t know where I would go and that white evangelicalism, “is a community that matters to me.” Even while typing those words in early July, the existential tension of the truth pushed back in my heart on that flimsy defense. I have spilled much ink over the last four years excoriating white evangelicalism and white evangelicals. I believe, and have argued, that white evangelicalism is rotten at its very core; it’s unredeemable. So much so that the word syncretism applies to the theology in the system, not the politics or materialism or autonomous individualism that many white evangelicals say they mourn. White evangelicalism is, first and foremost, and almost totally, a secular system of power. The theology is the add-on – the syncretism, if you will – not the other way around. Many of the articles on Practically Known Theology have been my attempt to implore followers of Jesus to flee the Tower of Babel that is white evangelicalism before it comes crashing down. My arguments have been geared toward that audience. While I still personally care about many people – friends and family – climbing the idolatrous stairs of that Tower, I need to be honest with myself and my readers: I am not a white evangelical; I am best described as a post-evangelical. While I care for those trapped in it, I have no love for the system because I believe it to be working at odds with the Kingdom.

Moving forward, my primary audience will be post-evangelicals, people deconstructing, and those who are deeply troubled by what they see and hear around them in white evangelicalism. By way of an example to give an idea of what I mean, I’m currently working on an article tentatively titled “A Post-Evangelical Guide to the Conflict Between Hamas and Israel” (I have a three-part series about the history of my exodus from white evangelical that I’m going to post first). My audience with that article are not those pinning “I Stand with Israel” on their social media profiles. Nor is my audience those who believe that moral clarity can be achieved regarding the conflict. Epistemic certainty is a hallmark of white evangelicalism, revealing the lust for power. Except hard truths and counterfactuals exist in this world that often obliterate the so-called moral clarity held out and craved by white evangelicals. But those hard truths are often barred admittance into the conversation by the epistemic/worldview gatekeepers, or those hard truths are forced to conform to the paradigm desired by those holding power. The current situation in Palestine and Israel is a moment that exists in a frothing sea of hard truths. I see and hear (and feel myself) the unsettled uncertainty about Hamas and Israel from many brothers and sisters in Christ. My objective is to communicate to them that their unsettled uncertainty is not only okay but reflective of Kingdom ethics and to introduce them to historical and theological truths that explain why that is.

To help better serve my changing audience and objectives, I am going to rebrand this blog or start a new one. I’m hoping that I can simply change the name of this blog, delete some past articles, and be done with it. I’m assuming that can be done – changing the name, including domain name – but if not, I’ll start a new blog. If that happens, I will be sure to provide enough overlap between this blog and the new one to give those who would like to continue to follow me the opportunity to do so. The title of this article – “A Post-Evangelical Journey of Faith, Doubt, and Shalom” – will be the new name for this blog or the name of my new blog (unless I can think of a better name).

No doubt, especially among those who know me personally and do not accept my arguments about white evangelicalism, this raises many questions and concerns. If you have my phone number, reach out; I’ll be happy to talk.[1] Otherwise, considering who my audience will now be, I doubt that my coming articles will give you answers. Please do me the courtesy of not making assumptions nor drawing conclusions about me without speaking with me first. For those who consider yourself a post-evangelical or are increasingly uncomfortable with what you see and hear within white evangelicalism (including your church), my prayer is that I can be a source of encouragement. If there’s a particular topic or issue that you’re working through or troubled by, please reach out and let me know. I can’t promise anything, but I’ll do my best to address those issues that I understand well enough to warrant having my opinion heard and considered (I also have less time to write now than in the past). My email is included in the “About” tab of this blog.  

As a post-evangelical, I have not renounced my faith. The exact opposite, in fact. As I’ve deconstructed Christianity from the white evangelical/Western secular worldview of power, my faith has deepened. To be sure, questions and doubts exist. Thankfully, our Heavenly Father does not expect, much less demand epistemic certainty. The Holy Spirit is revealing to me a shalom that comes with understanding that Jesus didn’t draw lines or circles. Christianity is not a bounded set. Christianity is a centered set. Centered solely on Jesus Christ. I want to invite others to join me on this journey of faith, doubt, and shalom. By God’s grace, this is what I want my writing to articulate, and I can’t do that if I continue to write to and about white evangelicals.

Addendum: Early this morning, while working on the final edits of this article, Footnotes by Jemar Tisby hit my inbox. This week, Dr. Tisby shared a link to a podcast episode of Holy Post hosted by Veggie Tales created Phil Vischer. In the episode, Vischer asks Dr. Tisby, “Why are you still a Christian.” After watching and being encouraged by the video, I shared it on Facebook and wrote this: “I give thanks to God for Jemar Tisby. Not only are his words and actions edifying for Christ’s Body and not only is Dr. Tisby a faithful witness to the Resurrection to unbelievers, I benefit personally from his labors for Christ. I found this podcast episode pastorally healing in my own heart. If you have been hurt by your church and professing Christians, I implore you to listen to this podcast episode. I also found this podcast episode providentially timed in my own life. Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve been working on a new direction in my own writing (more on that later today) and Dr. Tisby’s words contain encouraging parallels for me.”

Like I did my Facebook friends, I encourage you to watch the video embedded below. Dr. Tisby’s words contain truth and encouragement.

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[1] To be clear in order to protect my mental and spiritual health, just because you have my phone number that doesn’t mean that I’ll be happy to talk to you. My “you” in the “if you have my phone number” is directed at those who have invested relationally in me.