Yes, We’re Having a Baby

by John Ellis

Our firstborn is named Infinity. The genesis of our selection of such a hippie-ish name is up for debate (if you ask my wife). Regardless of how and why we picked the name, there is no denying, for me at least, that the name reflected a tinge of social rebellion. As a brand-new Christian, enough punk/hippy remained in me to seek out ways to express my contempt for conventionality. While I would’ve denied it at the time, a part of me relished the (immature) thumbing of my nose at naming norms in our circle. And my quasi-rebellion was rewarded. When we told my parents what we were planning on naming our unborn daughter, my dad snorted, “Infinity? That sounds like a car.” To which I immediately deadpanned, “You named me John, and that sound like a toilet.” In hindsight, considering I was named after my dad’s brother who died before I made my entrance onto the world’s stage, my retort was a tad bit insensitive. But I’ve strayed from my purpose. I’ve long thought that if we ever had a second daughter, I would want to name her Random. Well, that time has come. With our third child cooking in my wife’s belly (uterus … sheesh … stop being so unpoetic, you literalists), I have about six and a half months to convince my wife to name our daughter (assuming the baby is a girl) Random. … Kidding, we’re not naming the baby Random because I’ve already been outvoted. But hear out my argument:

Look, it makes sense, the name of Random. There’s the continuity with our unborn child’s sister’s name – Infinity and Random. And, possibly more importantly, we weren’t planning on having another child. My word, I’m almost 50 and my wife ain’t no spring chicken. Another kid was not in our game plan. But here we are. On February 21, or thereabouts, our unborn child will make her (or his) entrance onto this world’s stage. As randomly as possible. Yet, paradoxically, as welcomed as possible. I’m looking forward to meeting her (or him). I like having kids; they’re a blessing from God. In colloquial terms, our kids are awesome and a lot of fun! Infinity and Hayden are not only a blast, but they constantly amaze Danita and I with their curiosity, intelligence, empathy, and overall love for life. Why in the world would I not want to continue having a front row seat to an Image bearer spreading her (or his) wings as she (or he) learns her part in God’s great Drama? Besides, we now get to take advantage of claiming a dependent on our taxes until retirement age.

So, yes, we’re pregnant. Or rather, Danita, my beautiful awesome wife is pregnant with our child. This is something we were not expecting, not even close. It’s not something we planned for, but it’s something for which we praise God and are thankful for. And our desire is that our family and friends share in our thankfulness. That being said, and by no means should this undermine our (and your – hopefully) joy, we also recognize that we live pre-eschaton; the Fall and sin’s Curse are still in effect. To that end, we have some prayer requests. If you’re of the praying kind, please pray the requests below for us. If you’re not of the praying kind, please reach out to me; I’d love to tell you why I’m of the praying kind. And if you’re not of the praying kind, then please be happy for us and enter our joy while desiring to see the mitigation of the obstacles and problems I mention below.

First and foremost, as I rudely wrote above, my wife ain’t no spring chicken; this is a high-risk pregnancy. Being over the age of forty brings risks and possible complications that we didn’t have to face with our first two children. In fact, it’s called a geriatric pregnancy, which I find funny although I’m not sure Danita does. So, please pray for the health of Danita and the baby. As of now, everything is good, so says the doctor. Praise God for that, but we know that nothing is a given and the medical/health part of the equation can be rebalanced in the negative in an instant. The second ultrasound is this coming week.

Related, please pray that if complications do arise that we will have faith and wisdom to move forward in ways that honor God and serve Danita and the baby. Pray for the doctors, nurses, and other medical professionals to be wise and thoughtful in their advice and actions. And praise God that we live in a time of modern medicine that has done God-honoring work in lowering the mortality rate for both expectant mothers and their unborn babies.

Less importantly, but still important, pray that we’ll continue to parent Infinity and Hayden well. We’ve had several conversations with both of them and have done our best to let them know that whatever they’re feeling, worried about, etc. is not just allowable, but welcomed. We want to make sure that they know that we take their feelings about this pregnancy seriously and aren’t simply expecting them to fall in line with joyful expectations. So far, though, both are happy. Infinity more so than Hayden, which is not surprising. She’s already put together a baby registry for us (unasked, by the way), come up with a list of “approved” baby names (also unasked), and begun planning her new “sister’s” wardrobe and room decorations. Hayden is happy to have a new sibling but insists that he will NOT be changing any diapers. He also wasn’t thrilled when we pointed out that during his senior year in high school, he’ll be driving a kindergartener to school. We’ve communicated to Infinity, especially, that we’re going to do our best to make sure that this new baby doesn’t steal focus from her senior year in high school. We want to ensure that she’s able to enjoy her last year of high school as fully as possible (the baby will be born during the second semester of her junior year, Lord willing). So please pray that we parent all our children well.

In a similar vein, one of our concerns – a minor concern, but a concern nonetheless – is that we avoid having a Family A and a Family B. By the time this new kid is entering her (or his) preteen years, Infinity will be in her late twenties. Hayden will be finished with (or finishing up) his undergrad. But it’s not just the age gap that creates a scenario that almost divides our family into two, it’s how that age gap creates moments and movement forward/family growth that are unique to Infinity and Hayden versus the new baby. For example, and this is one of the cheesy things we do, but everywhere we go we buy a magnet. I started it because I imagine in the future when Danita and I have kicked the bucket (Danita will be the last one to go, let’s be honest), Infinity and Hayden will go through all those magnets and reminiscent about the times we spent together as a family. Now, though, there will be a whole side of the fridge containing magnets that the baby will have no connection to. Likewise, there will be a whole other side covered with magnets that Infinity and Hayden will have little to no connection to. That makes me sad. Please pray that will be diligent in looking for ways to create continuity between our life with Infinity and Hayden and our life with this new child.

Most importantly, pray that Danita and I will be faithful metaphors for God the Father. Pray that the Holy Spirit will be pleased to use our parenting in a positive way in our new child’s life to replace her (or his) heart of stone with a heart of flesh.

This will be a fun adventure. If you had told me a couple a months ago that Danita was going to accidentally get pregnant, I would’ve neve guessed how excited I am. We’re excited, yet we’re also not naïve. We know the sleepless nights, the worries, the impositions into our plans, etc. But we also know how awesome it all is, too. One of the things that I’m thankful for is that I understand better now how precious all the moments with our kids are. I remember when both Infinity and Hayden were small, small-ish, not-so-small, and now not small at all. Yet during those moments, I often failed to be as present as I could’ve been. Reflecting on this new child has served to help me realize that I need to be more present in the remaining moments we have with Infinity and with Hayden, as well as being intentional in relishing the upcoming moments with our new child.

So yes, we’re having another baby, Lord willing. Thank you for your prayers and words of encouragement. Do me a favor, though, if you know my wife and kids, tell them my argument for naming the baby Random is convincing and they should relent and let me have my way.

Soli Deo Gloria

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